Post by Kotone Suzuhashi on Sept 3, 2013 20:19:51 GMT -5
when you try your best, but don’t succeed
when you get what you want, but not what you need
when you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
stuck in reverse
when you get what you want, but not what you need
when you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
stuck in reverse
name;; Kotone Suzuhashi
age;; 15
gender;; Female
race;; Human
date of birth;; August 25
height;; 5’4”
weight;; 125 lbs.
hair colour;; Long, dark purple-colored hair that is layered and is messy every now and then.
eye colour;; A shade between gray and purple.
wardrobe;; Kotone is often seen wearing a pale pink short-sleeved button-up shirt that has slightly puffed sleeves, a blue pleated skirt, and over these two articles of clothing, she wears a white apron because she works part-time in a bakery and a delivery girl for said bakery. She wears white thigh-high socks and white runners. One very noticeable accessory on her person is white bandages wrapped around her left arm and they stop at the elbow. The reason why she has these is because she wants to cover up scars caused by her right hand, as in finger nails digging into her skin when she feels anxious about something. She would rather have them covered up somehow instead of being exposed to the public — it’s better to make them think she had a recent injury to her left arm, right? … Right?
Other times, Kotone is seen wearing her Mugen Gakuen uniform and sometimes long-sleeved shirts with shorts or pants.
face claim;; Dangan Ronpa Series // Tsumiki Mikan
picture;; What she looks like.
and when tears come streaming down your face,
when you lose something you can’t replace,
when you love someone, but it goes to waste,
could it be worse?
special skills or abilities;; She has near perfect memory, making it easier for her to remember things whether or not it’s a small detail or a big one. However, if there is too much detail to take in, then sometimes her memory of something can be slightly inaccurate. This “special” skill of hers is a double-edged sword because she can remember both memories that make her smile and memories that make her want to lock herself away from the world.
personality;; Kotone is a quiet girl who is the type of person that would rather stay and watch others in the background instead of being in the spotlight. She is rather socially inept, meaning she avoids socializing with other people because she doesn’t know how to interact with other people in a sociable or even friendly manner, and she is afraid she might do something wrong and humiliate herself in the process, so, she just isolates herself away from other people — due to this, she is viewed as either anti-social, very shy and/or too quiet to others. It is true that she is shy, and she speaks in soft voice because if she ever raised it, she would think that people would see her as annoyed or angry (or something along those lines) at them. She wants to be polite in front of people, but, she doesn’t like being confronted about things and she gets flustered and very nervous quite easily when this happens, making it hard for her to form coherent words.
Due to her behavior socially-wise, she really is just viewed as very quiet and reserved, but, the truth is that she has a severe anxiety disorder. This is because she is overwhelmed by the fact that her parents have pet high expectations on her to be one of the best in her studies, she has set high standards on herself too to make sure she doesn’t disappoint her teachers and parents, and she just lets her feelings and emotions build up within her without having a proper, healthy outlet to cope with such pressure and intense emotions. She is very secretive and she doesn’t want to let anyone know what she’s thinking about and feeling in each moment. There may be counsellors and therapists around but, she lacks the initiative to do so and is afraid of what her diagnosis would be if she needed treatments. If she were ever to “let go” and express what she currently she has built up inside of her, it would be “explosive”, meaning resulting in Kotone breaking down emotionally and possibly causing her to become mentally unstable.
She isn’t a bad person, well, she hopes she isn’t one. She has her morals and does what she thinks is right — well, unless someone tells her otherwise. She lacks initiative because all her life she has been told to do this and that by those who are older than her or even she thinks who does things better than her, which just adds to her pent-up emotions and makes her have low self-esteem and confidence in herself. She is secretly jealous of those who have the freedom to do things on their own volition and those who have a normal life with their friends and families without so much pressure, and she secretly hates herself for being unable to do things she wants to do and the lack of “backbone”. She feels guilty and wishes that she can change herself, but, there are so many things going on in her life that are holding her back.
habits & quirks;;
- Since she is left-handed, she tends to strain her left arm by writing a lot, lifting things and etc.
- She fidgets with her fingers
- When she is anxious, she tends to squeeze her left forearm or hand that her nails draw a bit of blood, so, she often wears long-sleeved shirts or bandages around her arm to cover up the visible scars
- Libraries since it’s an escape from reality she lives in
- Cooking and baking
- Holidays
- Her parents because they have done so much for her (doted on her when she was a child, paid for tutors, paid for her tuition at Mugen Gakuen, etc.)
- Small birds
- Anything horror-related
- Being confronted
- Her current self
- Secretly her parents because they expect so much out of her
- Others who have it easier than her
- Lacks initiative
- Socially inept
- Insecure
- Keeps all of her feelings and emotions in
- Her memorization skill
- Studious
- Observant, as in paying attention to what happens around her surroundings and to other people
- Punctual
- To stand up for herself some day
- Change, as in to become more confident and satisfied in herself
- Speak about her problems without the feeling of anxiety overwhelming her
- Disappointing other people
- Humiliating herself
- Confrontations
lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones,
and i will try to fix you
allies;; She used to have a few friends back in her childhood, but, as of now, she doesn’t really have any because she isolates herself.
enemies;; Secretly her parents because they expect her to be one of the best and the relationship between them and Kotone is more like a love/hate one. She also views herself as an enemy because she is holding herself back from trying to change.
parents;; Masaru Suzuhashi (Father - 43 - Alive) and Akemi Suzuhashi (Mother - 41 - Alive).
siblings;; None.
other relations;; Her relatives are spread out all over Japan and she hasn’t been in contact with them in a long while.
crush and sexuality;; At the moment, she is single and doesn’t have a crush anyone because she doesn’t know which gender she would be interested in.
history;; Before Kotone was born, Masaru and Akemi Suzuhashi wanted one perfect child in their family. Yes, they had plans. Akemi wanted to fix her mistakes she has done in the past with her education and choices in life, so, she would fix them through her child — she would set boundaries and expectations of her child as he or she grows up. Masaru wanted a child that he could be proud of, so, he could speak about him or her to his family, other relatives, and friends, so, he would dote on her, and tell her what was good and what was bad. Indeed, they had plans, but, they wouldn’t realize it would affect their child’s health as she grows older.
When Kotone was born, her parents doted on her as she was slowly growing up; they gave her gifts, toys, and plenty of affection — they didn’t want to set their expectations on her so early in her life. She made friends with her neighbors’ children, and she enjoyed having friends and loved her parents very much. She was put into preschool with them and they had a close bond with each other — she promised she would be friends forever with them, you know? Though, after a while when she entered elementary school, she got her first report card. Her parents weren’t satisfied with her progress in school; they thought her friends were holding her back as she kept hanging around them after school. They had to go; as much as Kotone didn’t want to let them go, she didn’t want to disappoint her parents who she loved, so, she separated herself from her friends. The second report card came in and her parents was proud of her for improving. Her progress was becoming more and more satisfactory, but, it wasn’t close to perfect just yet. Kotone started suffering from the early stages of anxiety from this point on.
As the years went by and as she was receiving praises from her parents about her near perfect progress, she was accepted and enrolled in Mugen Gakuen. While she should feel honored, she didn’t feel honored at all, she just felt the overwhelming anxiety to do her best because Mugen Gakuen was a prestigious academy for, as her parents said, the elite. She secretly didn’t want to attend this kind of schooling system because of such immense pressure put on her shoulders, but, she didn’t want her parents to know that, so, she did what her parents expected out of her. After a week of attending classes, she didn’t feel like she fit in with the others. Everyone had their groups of friends and connections, but, her? She felt isolated, though, it was probably for the best. Having friends would only hold her back, right? … Right? It would be like elementary school all over again and her parents would be disappointed in her once again.
As time passed by again, things haven’t changed for Kotone at all. There is still the pressure she feels every day, hardly any interactions with other people other than her parents, and the anxiety continues to build… Along with dark, negative unexpressed emotions within her.
and high up above or down below,
when you’re too in love to let it go,
but if you never try, you’ll never know
just what you’re worth
username;; Kotone Suzuhashi
alias;; Marade, or you can just call me Mara
experience;; 9 years
sample rp;; third person, past tense. in this character’s perspective. at least a paragraph. semi-literate. only for canons.
lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
[ T E M P L A T E, made by Tsuki ]
